i've been thinking this a bit last night and today. 'that story' being the story of Jesus' arrest, trial, beating, humiliation, and crucifixion. i commented on facebook this week that i was ready for good friday - for worship at least, if not for what the story would do to me.
it's made me feel sick.
sick with the anguish of Jesus' prayer in the garden - the struggle to find the courage to continue with God's way of love, God's call on his life, even to the point of death; feeling alone and far from God; being terrified; being humiliated and beaten; the desertion and betrayal of his closest friends.
sick with sorrow and grief and shame that this was the world's response to God's way of love.
sick with anger that we keep doing this to each other, humans, beat each other, treat each other with gross injustice, violence, inhumanity.
i bloody hate this story.
the story of good friday.
this story that is so hard to tell, to hear, to enter again.
but this is our story.
Jesus shows us God through this story.
may we have the courage to look and to see God's love pouring out, even though it hurts God.
may we have the courage to love, even when it hurts.
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