Midweek Musing. I'm ok, but ...

I had a plan for today's musing, but then this poem burst forth this morning, so you're getting that instead.

Notice of intent to abdicate

I am no longer coping.
The ghosts are returning
with their would-have-beens,
could-have-beens, should-
have-beens, if I had not ...

I am no longer coping.
The sleep-in has lasted
days, closed curtains
have stayed – I did not
mean to hibernate.

I am no longer coping.
The we will see and what
will be devoid of comfort,
thrill or hope, as I sink
in all this possibility.

I am no longer coping,
teeth gritted, fist
clenched, feet turning circles
about the room, but who
is my opponent?

I am no longer coping.
It is only me to
decide for, but it's only
to decide.

I am no longer coping
with not knowing, not having
a God responsible for the step
by step plan for me to tread:
I would so like to

* I feel like this needs qualification, for mum if for no-one else, I am ok. I just had a moment, which spewed forth into a poem that took on a life of its own.


Glenys said…
Not just your Mum who needed that little bit of clarification. Your honesty allows some of the rest of us to admit there are times when we don't do so well.

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