the call of a dream: at what cost?

It is true that one cannot pursue one's dreams and calling – the core task of my present season –  without such resources as money provides.

It is also true that the seeking of that money, the completing of application forms and job applications and interviews, the roller coaster ride of effort and waiting and rejection uses up energy and time meant for the core task of this current season.

Further, it is true that the working for that money (if the calling itself receives no investors so that it may become the work one does for the living one receives) takes time and energy away from the work one is meant to be undertaking, following the call that lays claim to one's life.

So it is that, nearing the end of the first year of this season of research and reflective practice, a season of work that has the potential to enrich the Christian community's engagement with its sacred texts by bringing the whole human person to that encounter, what investments and effort, time and energy and work has already been spent seems like being in vain.

I believe that storytellers, with their practice of embodying biblical texts and discerning meaning through their bodies and emotions, intuition and imagination, and the relationship with their audience, have a profound gift to offer our wider Christian community. I believe I have the calling, the gifts and the skills to explore the potential of that gift. I have come across the world to a culture of storytelling, and a school of divinity exploring storytelling, in order to be nurtured and encouraged in that pursuit. Many have helped me so far.

It has been a cobbling together of small gifts and grants paired with further work on my part, and the task of reflection is beginning to suffer under the strain, and may not be able to continue.

For the other truth I live with is the truth of mental illness, depression to be precise, which, when it awakens, decreases my resilience, inhibits my energy, and clouds my concentration. The stressful situation caused by the limited finances is awakening the black dog and stirring it into action.

So it is that one third of the way into this project I still believe in, and I am not the only one, I am almost ready to give up. If the depression worsens again, I – and my calling, gifts and skills – will be no use to anyone. If the stress of limited resources and the constant search for security continues, the work of this season will be mediocre, will be of no use to anyone.

We are fully human together, whole and well as individuals and communities when each member is whole and well and contributing to the health of the body.

I need your help to make my contribution, which I hope will help others to know the Sacred Story of our tradition and be encouraged and equipped to make their contributions.

As support grows through Patreon pledges, I will be equipped to focus my energy and time on the core task of this season: reflecting on my practice as a storyteller to find ways of bringing the whole human to our encounters with biblical stories. You will be provided with more fruit of my vocational storytelling and poetry with stories and poems, reviews of the creative works of others to encounter, reflections on life and the Sacred, reflections on the biblical stories and pieces to use to shape gathered worship in your communities.

If you find my poems, stories and reflections worthwhile, please
share them with others
pledge financial support if you are able
tell me what my words spark for you.

We are whole only together.

thank you


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