NCYC 11 - turning it up!

A group of girls in our bible study at NCYC 11 began work on a video during one of the sessions when we were thinking about how we were going to turn it up back home - what was the message we had heard at NCYC11 that we wanted to share with our communities at home, and how did we want to do this?

I have to say, I felt a little bit of proud of the girls as I watched this, and am stoked that they have produced such a thoughtful reflection of their experience to share with the people in their church community.

I hope they feel inspired and encouraged to continue to share the message of God's love for us all in the communities in which they belong.

the struggles of pursuing one's dreams

sometimes life is hard
previous posts about healing notwithstanding, and not wanting to diminish the tragic hardships facing many of my fellow Australians, not to mention people around the world - sometimes life is hard
my sisters have been applying for jobs for months, without success. the relentless rejection is taking its toll, and it is increasingly difficult to remain positive, to expect that the 'yes' is just around the corner. and there's no explaining it - without being overly biased, they would both be fabulous assets for any employer - so why oh why do potential employers keep overlooking them? i don't understand it. and even i am finding it difficult to trust that the Spirit is moving through this - we feel no peace, we have no hope ... we are deflated.
please pray with us. pray for us.

i am delighted in my placement at Belair Uniting. at the moment, it is a welcome source of joy amidst struggle.
this is a half time placement. the hope has been that i will therefore be able to spend the other half of my working hours continuing to lead the Esther Project, the alternative Christian community of creativity and storytelling that started in August 2009.
there was much uncertainty for 2010 for me and for the esther project, as we waited for me to receive a call to an established congregation. we weren't sure until we knew which congregation whether the esther project would stay with its host congregation, or move with me, or even cease to be. it is such a fragile new venture that the latter was a very real possibility. but there is still so much untapped potential for the esther project, that it would be a deep disappointment if it were to end here.
our host community have begun to wonder if an enriched partnership with this fresh expression of church would in fact inject some new life into their community, help move them in new directions towards which they hope to go. but with a limited budget of their own, and the difficult questions of what such a relationship would look like and how it will challenge us all to change, the past few months have been quite a struggle. not least because we are all very aware of the implications of not enough funding on my life.
i have lived on a shoestring budget for most of my adult life, pursuing dreams and the enticing call of the Spirit. I don't regret it, or begrudge it, and i have been humbled by the unceasing generosity of my parents in particular, and the support of friends and the church through this time. but, as so many in our world know, the constant worry about how one will pay one's bills, the stress of having to rely on ailing and ageing second or third hand cars - it is exhausting.
part of my struggle at the moment is that i had expected that at this point, taking up a new position as a minister, a position of some responsibility, i would no longer be the poor student mimicking Oliver with my hands out again and again - please, may i have some more.
it is demoralising to have to continue to ask for money, whether it is seeking a loan to get me through the transition from student stipend to minister's stipend, or having to seek out possible avenues for funding for the esther project so that i might be paid - i just want to be able to stop worrying about having not quite enough so that i can be free to do the jobs God is calling me to do.
and i want to delete those words, because it sounds ungrateful and like the whinging of a white middle class educated person when so many in the world don't have enough food to eat or a roof over their head.
i knew this call to new forms of church and ordained ministry would be hard. so i am not surprised. i am very close to being overwhelmed. and if i didn't know this call is from God and trust it; if i hadn't experienced the joy and wonder of the Spirit moving through each and every gathering of the esther project in the past 18 months; if i couldn't picture the people for whom this has been a gift - i would probably walk away.

sometimes life is hard. i am looking forward to the clouds clearing and the sun shining on a new day of joy and light.

of healing and wholeness

Over a year and a half ago, I was sharing with a friend that I had been struggling again with back pain. This is something that has been part of my life since I was 12 years old, which is by now well over half my life. 

My friend then shared with me that she had found a chiropractor who practiced a different method of healing, which was unexpected and not everyone's cup of tea, but that she thought it might suit me. 

After the first visit with Yvan at Vital Wisdom, I drove home feeling lighter and happier than I had in longer than I could remember. I can still picture that moment. I could breathe! For a storyteller, the breath is an important part of connecting with emotion in order to convey meaning through the story. This, then, has been an important part of the gift I have received from these visits. 

It is more than that. 

I have begun to feel integrated, whole - body mind and spirit. And for me, this is what God calls each and every one of us towards, and is the reason for incarnation in Jesus Christ - to lead us into healed wholeness as human beings, as all creation. 

I no longer hate my body or resent the effects of the numerous illnesses and health conditions I live with. I care about it. 

I no longer think about exercise or healthy eating as the bane of my existence and long for the days when I was effortlessly thin. I want to be moving, walking, in the sunshine, because it makes me feel good! I want to drink more water, eat good food - because it makes me feel good! 

I love feeling healthy. It used to be that if I was sick, I would wallow in it, because this was comfortable and known - I knew how to be unwell or in pain. I had known it for so long. Not any more, folks, not any more. I get ill or have pain and it doesn't feel like home. This is so amazing for me, to feel healthy, whole - and I want it for all of us. 

Whatever path we find to healing and wholeness, whoever we can find with the gift of healing, embrace it, appreciate it and them, for life in all its fulness is surely what we must hope for all.

I wrote a poem last year in another moment of gratitude for this gift of wholeness: tenuous wholeness.

Contact Vital Wisdom: vitalwisdom@iinet.net.au ; 8357 3829  

guarding stories, giving the gift of wholeness

I have received a precious gift from various family members in the past week. In a small way, too, from friends at dinner before Christmas.

Spending time with the people with whom I have shared stories, life, friendship for most of my life has restored me to myself - and I hope is also as restorative for my friends. 

Having a role, living the life, that I do, which requires much of me for the sake of community, I am appreciating so much the gift of family and friends who have known me for a long time - the gift of time and space in which to simply be, to take the priestly garments off, shed the prophet's voice, step out of the pastoral chair, and be me. 

In many ways all the minister stuff is also me, truly and with integrity. It is hard to articulate what I mean, being a minister is such a particular role with its symbolism for the community, its guardianship of the faith and story and tradition, with the community as we remind the community of the story and our God into which we are called to live. 

The ones who knew me before this role have the special place in my heart, in my life - they are the guardians of my story in a way - and I of theirs - in bonds forged through the family ties of blood, through shared joys and sorrows, shared stories. Our stories are woven together not because of my call or my role, and I know this is a key for me to nurture if I am to sustain health and vitality as I move into life as an ordained minister. An ordained minister is who I am - but it is not the whole story. 

To my family and close friends, thank you. Thank you. I hope you understand the depth of my love and gratitude. 

To those who read this blog - may I encourage you to thank those who hold your story with you, the story of who you are, and to be mindful of the ways you hold the stories of those close to you. These experiences have reminded me of how we are whole people through the telling and hearing of the stories of our lives, and how we have important roles to play guarding each others' stories for the health and wholeness of each other. 

ncyc11 day six part two

After the bible study, Nathan and I agreed that it had been a remarkable experience, really rewarding in terms of the depth of engagement and understanding we were privileged to witness in our group.
Once I had offered a sending out commissioning (see previous post) noone moved! What a lovely moment. This group were in no hurry to leave this space in which they had spent time with the Sacred Story and each other. Lovely.
A couple of the girls got up spontaneously to offer thanks on behalf of the group to Nathan and me, met with applause. This was also a moment of affirmation and friendship.
My heart has been warmed by the responses to the storytelling too, with many from the group telling me or Nathan directly that they have appreciated this way of hearing the Sacred Story, and also telling others, because there have been many people outside the bible study who have approached me to say they've heard good things about our bible study, which is just lovely. One young person even told me that her community has participated in a group storytelling piece recently, and that the next time she has the opportunity to be involved in biblical storytelling, she is going to take it because she found it such a god way to hear the story. yay!!
I've probably said it before, but it has been such a delight to share this ncyc experience with so many young people from around Australia, to be trusted with the stories of a few, to laugh with them, to cry as I see them respond to the movement of God in their hearts and lives.

I enjoyed sitting in the hub under the tree yesterday afternoon talking with other leaders, friends, from around Australia, sharing our stories, joys, frustrations, hopes and fears for our engagement in ministry with the UCA. It is an encouragement to hear each others' stories, and to know that even when our call from God takes us to the edges and to lonely places, there are others out here off the map too, sharing similar experiences.

And then last night it was an honour to have been asked to preside at communion with Alistair McRae, the President of the UCA. It's kind of hard to make a very real connection with a group quite so big as an ncyc community, and it could have been quite chaotic in the serving. But Megan did a great job coordinating it all, and it ended up being a lovely final evening worship.

Before it had begun, I got to hear some JAZZ!! A band called Scat played, and I will certainly be following them up for some recordings, coz they were great. My goodness I love Jazz.

ncyc11 day six milk and honey liturgy

Closing ritual – Session Four

Milk and honey

The world says come – buy and eat

Yet with all that money can buy

No worldly food can fully satisfy

God calls to us – incline your ear and come to me;

Listen so you may live,

Listen carefully and eat what is good

Delight in rich food

You that have no money

Come buy and eat

Come buy milk and honey – without money, and without price

Let the milk and honey symbolise for us the goodness of the rich food God offers

Let this ritual remind us of the ways we tune into God,

For a message that leads us into life

We have heard stories that remind us of God’s call to us –

I am here, listen carefully to me

We have heard stories that remind us of the blessings God offers

We have heard stories of listening so that we may offer a message that will be heard,

And of living the message with all of our being

Walk then to God’s table, take a cup of milk and a spoonful of honey

Drink and eat how you choose

All are welcome at this table – having tasted what the world has to offer,

come then to God’s table

delight in the richness of the food God offers

we thank you God that you call to us

that you hear our call, that you offer blessings radically different

and more life-giving than any the world can offer

Amen 

Sending out: 

You are the light of the world

Let your light shine

So all may know in you the love of God

Tune into the story

Transmit the story with all your being

Turn up your availability to God

Turn up your availability to each other

ncyc11 day six part one

our final bible study went well. we heard some more of the things people are going to do when they go home, to communicate the message and stories of ncyc with their communities.
We heard Jesus say that we are to be salt and light - so we are to live the message with all our being and transmit the message more explicitly through words and actions. This particular crystalising of the meaning from the passage came from one of the delegates - it's so rewarding to hear the young people engage with the biblical stories and draw out meaning for themselves. love it!

I then led us in a milk and honey ritual, from Uniting in Worship II, as I mentioned in my previous blog.

I can't find the amended version of the liturgy, so will look for it when I'm at my next destination and then put it up here as promised to a couple of the bible study participants.

ncyc11 day five part two

Yesterday afternoon the delegates participated in 'submersions' - mission experiences.
Some were involved in conversations, for example with overseas delegates, sharing stories.
Others did a flash mob dance on a nearby beach, then handed out fair trade chocolates.
There were groups helping out with Habitat for Humanity's ongoing support for families in Queensland, by doing gardening and landscaping, or helping to serve meals for homeless people and hearing some of their stories - and so much more. Everyone I've spoken to enjoyed the experience - though there are some sore bodies today after the gardening!

While they were off doing that I was preparing today's bible study, which includes a milk and honey ritual (this is often celebrated at baptisms, and is associated with remembering the blessings of God). Nathan and I thought it might be a good way to finish off the time together, as it draws on the first passage from Isaiah we looked at, with God calling the people to come, buy and eat - without money and without price - and to delight in rich food, and the first passage from Matthew - the list of blessings of the kingdom of heaven. Also, the image of milk and honey goes back to ancient Israel, with promises from God to bring the people to a land flowing with milk and honey, symbolising the blessings God bestows on us.

Last night's worship featured stories from submersion experiences, and a song that reminded me of so many of the psalms with its cry out to God who feels distant and silent. It was introduced with the reminder to the people that, especially in the midst of submersions into difficult mission contexts, where it can feel like the problems are overwhelming and what can we possibly do, that it is OK to feel that way, and OK to ask - where are you God? We won't always have answers, certainly not always easy answers, and this song was poignant and painfully beautiful.

Gillian focussed her reflection on John's story of the woman at the well who encounters Jesus asking for a drink. I thought it was interesting that she chose a different passage to those set for the day, but it illustrated well the point about not judging those we meet as we seek to share the message we have.
I liked her illustration of the way not to turn it up - inviting Ali Cox, the lead organiser of NCYC, to help her. Ali was taking the part of someone who just wanted to speak their message, leaving no room for Gillian to ask questions or engage in conversation. The illustration from John's gospel counterpoints that approach well, with Jesus' respect for the questions the woman asks, his patience with her, and his ability to meet her where she is and allow her to be an equal partner in the encounter and conversation. Jesus knows her - Gillian challenged us to take the time to inconvenience ourselves and get to know people. When we know people, we can discern how to share our story in a way that might be more likely to be engaging, inviting, life-giving for another.

Following worship, our resident magician for the week, Christopher Wayne, gave us his full stage show. He's a great entertainer, blending tricks of sleight of hand with skills in reading people to guess one truth teller and four liars, a bit of risky chance with a russian roulette exercise, comedy, and the houdini get out of a straight jacket trick. He also shared the story of how he came to be a magician, beginning only five years ago and now winning awards and appearing on television. Part of the story was an encounter with his religious education teacher in high school, who told him she believed that everyone is made special, different, but special, and encouraged him not to let his fears get in the way of realising his dreams. Almost ten years later he lived according to this advice. That person was Ali Cox. I was almost in tears when he revealed this - I can't imagine how she must feel. What a gift to be able to witness the impact you have had on a young person. Most of the time we will never know. I'm almost in tears thinking of it now. So remarkable.

ncyc11 day five

Bible study number three today. We heard the portion of Matthew's gospel in which Jesus talks about judging others, and then about asking God, seeking God, knocking expecting the door to open. Last night Gillian was talking about asking - that it is OK to ask God for what we long for, God knows what we need before we ask it, but wants us to speak our needs to God. With today's focus on turning it up, the not judging others reminds us to listen to others before speaking ourselves, hearing more than we say I guess.
Then the prophet from the time when the people of Judah were in exile shared the story of hearing the message from God of comfort for the people and how it was important to understand that the people would find the message difficult to hear.
After this we invited the group to think about the message they have been hearing at NCYC, and their communities, and how they might go about sharing this message with their communities in a way that will help them to hear it. We suggested things like a short film, personal sharing by talking to a group, shaping worship or a bible study, creating a website, or writing a letter or article. Some of the girls had already started thinking about a short film for their church, so they kept working on that; another uses facebook for writing reflections on her experiences with God, so she started to write something on her NCYC experience; another group designed a facebook page for the kingdom of God with links to youtube clips of dramas or music, pictures, and more; we had worship ideas and free hugs and a flash mob plan ... It was such a delight to move around between the groups and hear what they were planning! Nathan and I were thrilled with the way the young people engaged with the activities today - and I am still smiling hours later!

ncyc11 new year's day

We got a sleep in yesterday, with breakfast not until 9am. Lovely!
I spent most of the day learning the story for today's bible study - from Isaiah 40, with some imagined story from the prophet around the message and what it might have been like to speak out the message to those people at that time.
I did a bit of wandering around in between searching out people to chat with, and got to meet some more great people. I shared stories about experiences of travel in England, and spent a wonderful hour or more getting to know Steph, who is in my bible study.
It rained quite a bit, though, and every time I left our dorm building I had forgotten to bring the umbrella I had been clever enough to remember to pack, and so I got a bit wet. I didn't really mind, though, because rain is still a bit of a surprise for me, don't think I've realised the drought is coming to an end - I'm from the driest state in Australia.

lighting the cross

Worship was a little different last night, with some alt.worship style stations. There were loads of options - washing feet, praying for others, Iona style song and silence, walking a labyrinth, meditation, story and song with Remember Seven, art, lighting a cross, communion ...
I heard some of the story from Remember Seven, and liked what they said about remembering that worship isn't so much about what songs we sing on a Sunday, but how we live out God's love in the world. When we are singing songs to God but ignoring the poor in the world, in the set beside us, are we truly worshipping God? We are called to hear and give voice to the stories of the least among us, to honour the stories of each person - which resonates with what Gillian was saying on the first night, we matter.

I also participated in the Iona style sing and silence, which was lovely, meditation on the hungry and those who hunger for justice as an act of solidarity in prayer.
I did think the earlier part of worship went a little long - and actually dishonoured the alt.worship experience if I'm being honest. I would have preferred more time to be given to the stations, so people could really enter into them, rather than feeling they had to move around a lot, which might have ended up being counter-productive if they were inviting people into an experience of prayer and worship ...

Song and silence

However, what Gillian had to say was again a great reflection on the theme of talking back to God, inviting us into a an experience of prayer that involved our whole bodies. Talking to a couple of others over breakfast this morning, we agreed that we would like to hear more from Gillian ...

And there were a couple of dramas that were quite effective: a young person offering her effective prayer for another that was realised as she prayed, and a wondering about who God is when we pray - a deputy principal, santa claus, someone of whom we can make demands ... or our Spirit friend who is present with us, meets us where we are, and walks with us. That was, for me, the best drama of the week so far. well done drama team.

A very chilled way to bring in the new year.

ncyc11 photos from new year's eve

Elliot and Yvonne in the tricky final stages of Jenga match #1

dancing the macarena
we did the nutbush before and I danced that one

Rachel, Heidi & Keegan

Ellen, Rachel & Heidi

the SA community worship band
(with backs of heads of SA delegates!)

Gold Coast city lights

ncyc11 new years' eve

There's a very tired but happy feeling about the place this morning, following last night's epic new years' eve celebrations!
Highlights for me:

speaker Gillian Best placing a Jenga tile
as Wendy and Elliot watch on

three very intense games of jenga - can't wait to see the video of the moment of collapse from the third! (also I discovered there's a uno/jenga game, which I have decided I MUST experience)
watching dodgeball and chatting with a Qld candidate for ministry (Rob or Rod?? help!) about sport, games, and candidating
a rap competition (yes, this is usually one of my less preferred forms of music) that exhibited some monumental courage from 6 or 8 young people to get up and freestyle rap in front of the ncyc crowd - the winner was Marda, who is a gorgeous young Aboriginal woman from the north of Queensland I think, who just won from a couple of guys who were also great.

Jesus walks towards the young man
struggling against the evil one

a drama in the praise party that depicted a young man's struggle with the evil one and the different kinds of 'superheroes' who might try to protect us, though the only one who really has the ability and authority is Jesus - the hug between the young man and 'Jesus' was incredibly moving, brought a tear to my eye and gripped my heart. it's not usually the kind of language or imagery I use myself, the struggle with the evil one, but this is part of the delight of an event such as this, we can all bring our different perspectives on the story of Jesus and share in the story together, celebrating our diversity.
the south australian band from one of the community groups led part of the worship, and it was great to see their enthusiasm, hear their music, and to be part of the group from South Australia who went down the front to support them and 'get our SA on' as Will said!
having so many people involved from the various cultural groupings participating in ncyc

Gillian offers a New Year reflection

Gillian's message to us to be thankful for the year that has been, with its struggles and joys, as we acknowledge the year that has been before turning our attention to the new year, the new day without any mistakes in it
conversation with a young friend about our own struggles with spiritual practices in the midst of the noisy busy overwhelming world in which we live.
Tongan singing by the river - having been led down to the river by our First Peoples in one of many wonderful acts of peace and harmony this week. Only shame there was I would have liked us all to sing, too.
Tongan feast - though we stood in line for a long time and my back and feet still hurt, the food was scrumptious.

And so we brought in the new year as young people responded to a call to commit or recommit to God in Jesus Christ, answering the stirring of the Spirit, and receiving prayer from the ncyc chaplains as the Gold Coast fireworks exploded across the river.